Did Big Mac let his hair down?

Admittedly, I am obsessed with the Beehive. It has cast a disproportionately large cloud of contained curls over my ability to reason why I am so pissed off at Sarah Palin’s promotion to pistol-packing (vice) presidential poseur-in-chief.

There are women I adore who sport the Beehive. Amy Winehouse. Marge Simpson. Patsy from AbFab. In Gary Larson’s world almost all the women feature the swept-up hairdo that says…that says…and there is the Gordian knot for me. What the hell is Sarah trying to tell us about herself with that hair?

The “Bee” and I were born a few months apart as a grateful country closed the book on the 1950s. Yet despite our parallel lives I understand nothing about the motivations that reside deep within those towering piles of pins and product. My instinct tells me that it’s all about the tease – the truth potentially hidden in the hint of who a woman might be if she actually released her pounds of hair.

Is there a feminist argument to be made? Surely there are some right-on sisters out there that have written dissertations on how the Beehive is a symbol of male oppression and female subservience. Sexuality caged high atop where thinking shouldn’t happen until a man can provide direction. Or am I stupidly naïve and the power truly lies with the Bee-Woman that purposefully restrains her sexuality as a taunt?

I am so miserably confused about her fucking hair.

Whoa there Nellies! I may have stumbled upon how Mitt Romney got passed over for someone almost as pretty. What if I’m not the only one confused by Sarah’s choice of coiffure?

Imagine this past Wednesday Big Mac turned to his aides and confessed that he couldn’t abide the sissy boys on the short list who never served a day in the armed forces.  Imagine a woeful Mac asking them to scour America for someone who knew the inside workings of a B-52 bomber like the back of their hand. Consider the possibility of those weary aides happily bringing Sarah and her proud B-52 back to Mac’s Sedona caves. The old man may very well think she flies them as well as wears them. After all they only met once before he decided he was good with entrusting our country’s future to her.

For an intelligent outraged reaction to the Palin selection look to Paul Begala (a Texan who knows hair). Begala on Palin at Crooks and Liars